Yes I want to get married! Okay! Don’t get me wrong! But it’s just the little girly thing that has gotten into me! I want to get married not for love, money or anything else! It’s just 3 things that would be my reason for my marriage right now!

1. The beautiful red bridal wear! I know I need to get in that perfect hour glass figure but having the motivation to wear that perfect bridal outfit by Sabyasachi, I could even skip meals!

Yes, the reason number one is Sabyasachi Mukherjee. His bridal wears are amazing! Naah I am not turning into a fashion freak but which girl wouldn’t want to wear a Sabyasachi Creation! There is something known as Khayaali Pulao, in English I would say ‘making castle in the air’. Well in my Khayaali Pulao, I wear the beautiful Maroon Indian bridal Sabyasachi sari, draped in the most sexiest Bengali way in that perfect figure and my husband to be would go all crazy looking at me and more than that I would love looking at myself in the mirror hundreds of time because in my Khayaali Pulao I was looking an amazing Bengali Bride!

Lehenga choli is the first thing that comes to people’s mind when we say Indian Bridal Wear but for me I so want to be a Bengali bride in a sari! Ahh! I am sure if I just tell my mom that I want to get married, she would be happy but if I tell her my first reason of getting married she would ignore me and my suggestion to get married!

Well whatever it is, one day I will get a Sabyasachi Creation because, I will wear that sari by him and in the perfect hour glass figure! People who know me and know how ‘so-not-girly’ I am would laugh at this thought, but guys’ come-on I am a girl too. End of the day it is a Sabyasachi Creation!!!

2. Okay a lot about the first reason now going to the second reason. It is related to the first one a lot! It’s a girly one again, so just control your laughs!

Ummm… the second reason I want to get married is because, I want to have that princess like treatment with me. You know all the make-up, dresses, perfumes, and jewel! Just everything! There’s this bizarre thing about the brides. I haven’t seen many weddings, because I am really not a wedding person but yeah the weddings I have been to or seen the photographs of weddings the only thing I look at is the glow of the bride and how well she is taken care of!

Colors everywhere! And yeah photographers clicking me all the way… wouldn’t that be amazing, where I would be like the princess who doesn’t have to do anything on her wedding day and just sit and get ready and get married!

I really wish marriages were so simple! I always had this craze of eloping and getting married! But if I elope I won’t be able to marry the BIG FAT INDIAN WEDDING style! Hmmm! I know its lots of waste of money and those money can be utilized in other important things… maybe I’ll ask my then husband to be to buy me a Sabyasachi Sari and then we would elope and have the typical filmy court marriage wedding! That sounds fun to me too! Yes marrying in a court also attracts me a lot! But this blog-post isn’t about marriages, it’s about the reasons I want to get married!

3. Last but not the least FOOD… well the third reason to get married is to have the delicious wedding sweets and food, specifically FISH! I know this goes in repel to the first one but yes maybe, after I starve  for months to look hotter in the Sabyasachi Sari, I deserve the best food in the town don’t I? At least the sweets!

From a Bengali girl this is the least that you can expect - Good food! Sweets from around the world to be served at the wedding and in front of me on my plate, from rosogullas to kaju katri or kaju katli – whatever you may call it! Amazing food, drinks and sweets! Yeah that’s the last reason I would want to get married!

After the three reasons I jotted down I realize how much I want to get a Sabyasachi sari, reduce my weight and look like a princess and then eat all the sweets from the world! Well do I really need to reduce to wear Sabyasachi? Well I can, if I try but… well I have heard somewhere that you need to have fats at the right places to wear a sari! Maybe I wouldn’t reduce or maybe I would! Well it depends if I am getting married with the Sabyasachi Sari! Rather i don’t want to get married but want to be a BRIDE!

 

It feels good to be girly at times! Shrabani would agree to this! So this is it – Sabyasachi Creation, Princess Treatment and good food and wine! The Big Fat Indian Wedding is ready!

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I know it sounds selfish but I like the guy or man who would love me, take care of me and UNDERSTAND me for god’s sake! Who wouldn’t like it? Won’t you like a girl who would do the exact things mentioned above for you and need to add another thing which is, give you your space!

There are so many good things about dating a guy who is a lot more older than you.

1. If he is older than you by years, obviously he has that maturity. We all know that men gain maturity a lot later than a woman. So if I am 21 and behave like 21 than a guy at the age of 30 would act like 22! Personally I have tried being with a guy who is just a year older to me and it results in nothing but being a mom for the guy. So yes years of experience bring maturity, which is a TURN-ON!

2. Who doesn’t want to be pampered and taken care of? Everyone does, right? I am no different! There’s a feeling that a guy who is older than you might look at you the way you want them to. Giving you that ‘baby…’ feeling isn’t that bad, is it?

3. He would understand your enthusiasm, your craziness, your denial for things because he must’ve gone through the same once!

4. For me if I have to go out with an older guy than obviously, size will matter! I need someone who is huge. Apparently most of the older guys I know are amazing huge and attractive! Suits me the best!

5. A mature man will have the sense of responsibility. I being the older one in my family is well aware of how much responsibility is required, so now wanting someone who would ask me to chill and at least take the responsibility of the relationship isn’t a CRIME!

OLDER MEN ARE SO HOT!!! well the example is Pierce Brosnan! God he is so HOT!

Well these are the five points – rather good points in dating an older guy let’s have a look at the bad ones!

1. Guys of my age are very dominating; imagine the guys who are older! Woahh they would be the GOD of domination!

2. Interests in things would be so different! I am an old person when it comes to music and books. I like the real old ones! What if the guy is my opposite and loves the TODAY’S Music! I know it’s absurd, because an older guy would like the old music but that’s not the case! The choice of music becomes LATEST as the age increases! This is the case with at least most of the older guy I know as of today!

3. Men like older woman as WE like older MEN! My cousin sisters are super hot! GOD!

4. Differentiate in friends circle! My friends are of my age and obviously his friends would be of his age! We talk absolutely NOTHING and anything, which most of the times have no logic! What if his friends are the intellectual and philosophical types!

5. I being 21, if date a guy who is in his thirties or above, might want to get committed real soon. It’s a drawback because he must’ve reached a good point of his career! But my career is still sinking and needs to come up!

I always have and had believed in the fact that ‘everything has two sides’ so if I date a guy older than me, obviously I’ll have the sweetness along with the bitterness of it! But as I always say, do what your heart says! Just do it! Thinking on things and trying to analyze love and dating would be difficult for you! and end of the day as we say ‘the wine older is better!’

Hmmm so here I am with another List blog post! I love this!

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You guys must be thinking what’s going on with me? Well just scoring myself out of TEN! Yeah every one of us must’ve scored some cute guy on the road or some hot chick in the coffee shop. We have also scored ourselves. And we are too honest when it comes to scoring. We score ourselves the same way we score others. Today was watching the movie ‘She’s out Of League’ and realized, why do we score ourselves so low?

The fact here is, before anyone gives us a FIVE or a SIX out of TEN, we score ourselves. Why can’t we score ourselves a TEN? No one is perfect! So, that doesn’t mean that you’re ABSOLUTELY IMPERFECT!

I asked a friend of mine on the phone that how much will he score himself and he directly said TEN! I asked him why is he so self obsessed. And he just said, “why should I score myself less than a TEN, when I know what I am?” so this statement of his lead me to write this post today.

Indeed none of us are perfect but we are indeed what we are. We are what we want to be. So which means all of us are a TEN! I wouldn’t deduct a mark on the score because I have some extra pounds on me, rather I would say, I am proud of the fats on me because they are on the right places!

 

 

 

 

If all of us start giving ourselves a TEN then trust me our self confidence would boom up!!! And it isn’t wrong to consider ourselves a bit more than what we are. I think things I do can never be done the best by anyone else! Maybe I am wrong but who cares! 

 

 

Would like to just say that I am HARD TEN!!! 

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Saw this guy in the bank and he just kept talking to everyone who was near to him in the cash queue. Initially I thought I wish I had to deposit some cash, so that I could talk to him, but then laughed back at my own thought and concentrated on the passbook queue that I was in.

Like any normal day, Bank of India’s printer wasn’t working. I kept standing and many people from the queue started leaving. I called up my mom asking is it okay if I don’t update the passbook today, as it was going to take a lifetime? My mom said its okay with her and I just thought of leaving the queue and going back home but just then came a voice from behind, “hi!” and I turned back to confirm is that hi For me? And realized that yes it was so for me.

I smiled back and said hi with the exact enthusiasm as his. I was just thinking as to what his age was and he just said it aloud, “and people say 25 year old guys are lazy… look at me I am still in BOI waiting for the work to be done.”

For a moment I felt, “is he reading my mind?” luckily he didn’t say anything but rather asked me, “have I seen you somewhere?” I thought to myself about all the flirtatious one liner that guys use these days. I looked back at him and said, “I don’t think so.” He made a sad face and then said, “I wonder how I didn’t notice you till date.” I was laughing on his sense of humor or filmy nature whatever you call it, but he was fun.

I noticed that he was talking to some aunty who was standing behind him. Trust me he was a charmer. He then asked me, “Ashmita, where do you stay?” rather than replying him, I was confused as to how does he know my name? I asked him, “how do you know my name?” he laughed and I was knocked out again. He then said in that charmer way, “Baby, I am a literate person and I can read the passbook that you are holding.” He gave me a smile and I looked at him like a dumb person and said, “Ahh okay!” he immediately said, “so? Where do you stay?” and I looked at him and said, “Nearby…”

He couldn’t stop laughing so loudly that people around us were also laughing on his laughter and then he said, “smart. I really like smart girls like you.” I tried to avoid him, because he was kind of getting too personal. But as he was a charmer, I couldn’t be spared from his charm. He followed me till the gate of the bank and asked me out. Yes he did!

Exactly just like you, even I was shocked to death! Okay let me not exaggerate that too much but yes I was shocked when he said, “I don’t look that bad and I am from a good south Indian family, with my mom working for SBI and dad for Mantralaya. Though my parents are in the government services, I am not. But working as a Training manager in a BPO isn’t that bad is it?” I nodded my head agreeing to what he said. He then continued, “so with a summary about myself, I would like to take you out for coffee. It’s not a meeting of friends, but would like to take you out on a date. Say yes!” I smiled and asked him, “what’s your name?” and he laughed back and said, “how dumb of me! My name is Ashwin” I was dumbstruck for a moment, for the reason well known to Shrabani and then I told him, “don’t you think you are too fast?” he said, “The world is going to end baby.” And I smiled and told him ok… will go out for coffee with him. He smiled and then said, “chalo then.” I just told him, “on Monday” and started to walk. He then gave me his number and asked me to call him on Monday when I reach the café coffee day. I was blank, took his number and left…

I know how risky it is to meet some guy just randomly but as I said he was too cute to ignore. And many things about him couldn’t be ignored by me. Obviously the dialogues used here are not the exact same things but yeah similar to these. he was indeed a cute and a charming guy. And someone is going on a date in the evening. Obviously, I will think twice before calling him but yeah would give it a thought.

What made me write this blog-post? Nothing! Wanted to write something before I go to sleep for the day, so here it is!!! a small love story, not of Maya’s but mine this time!!! Let’s take this risk.

Worst part about the entire thing: Why will a guy just ask you out randomly?

Best part about the entire thing: He didn’t ask you out for some movie or secluded place but rather a nice cafe with people around and nearby to your place.

have been on a blind date earlier, so this couldn’t be worse? i hope.

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For me the only thing that can throw my depression or grief away is chocolate. But yeah lots of them. Chocolates during depression mean expensive ones. Actually nothing less than a Bournville or Cadbury Silk would o! If I get a chance to go to M.O.D. during my mood swings or depression swings, I would be back to normal, rather a step ahead than being normal.

Chocolates and depression go hand in hand. Some say that chocolate increases depression but for me, I need chocolate when I am happy, I need chocolate when I am sad, I need chocolate when I am angry and I need chocolate when I am drunk! in a nutshell, I need chocolate.

When a person is sad or going through a rough time, we let that person do what they want, right? EXACTLY!

When depression hits in the month end it’s like a double-depression. No money! No chocolate! It’s really a disaster to be sad when there are no chocolates!!!

Why am I writing this blog-post? Because there are no chocolates and lots of sadness to take care of… I guess there has to be some other way out of depression if not chocolates. Maybe the entire month end, I would try to find out some other way to get rid of sadness when you don’t have the money to buy a dozen of Cadbury Silk and Bournville!

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It is difficult to know if a person loves you or no, because at times we are so confused with Love, that we ourselves are not sure if we love them or no. but yes when we can tell if a person is interested in talking to you or no.

06 things that rings bell and indicates : God my lover is no more interested in me!!!

06. Ignorance:

This is like the most common one. When a person ignores you, you certainly come to know. It’s not about a female instinct or so, but even men know if someone they like is ignoring them suddenly. Not replying to your messages is the best example of ignoring. But yes, as I always say, there are two sides of everything. Maybe this person is really busy enough to check his mobile messages? You think that’s possible? Well…

05. Behavior Change:

Hmm so how did they behave earlier? Always liking your Facebook status? Or sending you a message in the middle of the night saying: “miss you.” Has that changed? Maybe that turns to nothing. Maybe it’s been weeks and months that he hasn’t visited your Facebook wall or hasn’t been a tech savvy lately to send a miss you. This change in behavior rings the bells as to: “Woahh, something’s so wrong here!” you really can’t do anything with this. Maybe they are going through a rough time at work or at home. Well, have we ever heard of something called: “problems reduce when shared?” Maybe they haven’t heard of this. Forgive them.

04. No more Night talks:

Sad, I must say. Were you addicted to the night talks? The hugs and kisses that you’ll shared? Hmmm no more of this, is certainly not good! Maybe they have become an early bird, so they sleep early these days. Ahh what if they are the people who work in night shifts? Hmm too busy in work!!!

03. No Lunch:

This is so extreme and directly means that it’s a good-bye! Were they having lunch with you on every weekend? Hmm in that case, there are just many more weekends left that you’d be alone if you were alone for the last 5 weekends. It is possible that they must’ve decided to skip meals.

02. No movies:

So was it P.S. I Love You that you’ll watch when alone or did you’ll go to theatres and cuddled up while the actors on the screen were making love? So, I guess no more of it. Maybe your lover hates Gerald Butler these days then.

01. Secretive:

Have your lover or significant other has become too secretive these days? Not telling you what happened at work or just smiles on the phone and it’s not you on the phone that they’re smiling to? Well there’s no point being more possessive and suspicious, it can be a friend or if you think it’s a special friend, then too, it’s okay and feasible. But were they OPEN earlier? If yes? Then it’s nothing but read the point 05.

So if these are the case with you and your lover, maybe it’s time for you two sit and discuss. If they’ve got no time to discuss its better you MOVE- ON, because it directly indicates that they are not interested in you anymore. Maybe you seem boring or monotonous to them, which is quite possible. I do get bored of many things when it’s monotonous. Many things, means MANY THINGS! Yeah you got that right.

This happens to you too. When you know that something is not going to work and you are just trying to make it work every day, you get bored. Apparently you just leave that THING and move-on! It’s not wrong to do so, because you tried your level best to make your relationship work, but when there is no hope, then why unnecessarily waste yours and their time. Rather just move on with your own life and do something meaningful this time.

Think on it. Try to make it work; if it’s not, you are quite intelligent to take your own decisions. You certainly don’t need such blog-posts to run your relationship with your lover. This blog-post is no relationship breaker thing, but just a small hint as to what is a possibility when it’s OVER.

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Move on is the key word, when it comes to life. Anything that happens to you today or tomorrow needs to be forgotten and give a new kick to yourself. This kick is the MOVE-ON attitude in life.

You fail your exam, move on and prove yourself the next time. You have a fight with your siblings; move on love them, the way you used to. You break up with your significant other, move on and find the true love of your love. Love being my favorite topic, would write this blog post on move-on just for Love and vulnerable people who can’t move-on in life.

Recently read a random blog while browsing Google. The blog-post was nothing but a SORRY LETTER by a girl. Now the whole point of sorry didn’t make any sense to me. She said sorry to the guy but what she had described about the fight wasn’t her fault at all.

I thought how desperate the girl was. I spoke about this blog to my mom and she told me that’s LOVE for the girl. I thought to myself: “if this is love, I am glad I am single.” I read more posts from that girl’s blog and realized that the girl has been dedicating blogs to her lover since a long time. I was trying to judge the girl by her blog, but then thought it’s wrong to judge a person with the blog. At times, we bloggers write a blog just to let our heart out and in the real world we are an exact opposite of what we are in the blog.

A writer friend once told me, “The stories you write on love are amazing, seems like you’ve been in love and enjoyed every part of it.” I had sent my writer friend just a smiley on that remark of his. The fact is, I have never been in love. I have had crushes, the most beautiful one’s ever but LOVE is a strong word, and it’s a POWER WORD for me.

While reading the girl’s blog, I realized that after every two paragraphs she said I Love You. When you say these words girl, you can’t move-on. Remember ‘it’s a POWER-WORD’. But everyone has to move-on. I guess everyone does, just that some people move-on immediately while some take time, but eventually even they do.

The girl had mentioned that all she can do after the guy left her was THINK OF HIM. Well it’s a human tendency to think of a person whom you’ve been close to for a long time but we are close even to a dog if we’re close to them. It’s not that someone would die if someone left them; it’s just a frustration that takes over you for a few days.

Well all I would like to say to all the broken hearts there, just move-on, because you are wasting your tears here for them but are they? Just move-on and live life as per your wish, don’t ever change for anyone. Let people leave, there’s one person who would never leave you and that one person is YOU!

Move- on!!!

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So it isn’t just few pens and papers that you need with a creative mind to write up a novel. It’s more!!! Writing an article, just a blog post is not that difficult than writing up a story. For writing a story apart from the creative brain of yours you need to have a really good memory. No writer writes a long story in one day. They need coffee breaks, lunch breaks, few other bank works, some domestic work and again in front of the computer continuing the writing.

As a reader, we can read a book in an hour or so. But writing the same book takes days, months and sometimes even years. Just writing the novel isn’t going to give all the money required to the writer. The writer might be earning by writing articles for some magazine or teaching at the local college or even working in a corporate or may be the writer is just a person who is retired or a house wife. In all these cases, the writer has ample of work to do apart from writing.

There are people who think: “what does it take to be a writer? Anyone can write!” writing isn’t about just writing essays for your school exam. It is more than that. While writing a story you need to have a good memory. You need to remember what happened with your characters, the last time you wrote it. The first thing you need to keep in mind while writing your own story is your characters. You should know your characters, because if you don’t know them, others won’t know them!

You are the one who set up your own story characters. So you should know what your own characters are. There are minute things about you characters like allergies, looks, taste in lovers, food they eat etc. I know this sounds insane but this is the way things work for me. My character has always been Maya. I am just obsessed with the name for reasons unknown to me.

I have tried different names for different short stories but my fingers never moved further and those stories are still incomplete. Luckily all of these were short stories. So when I decided to write a STORY called The Runaway Writer, I made it clear to myself that the name would be Maya.

I know this sounds insane, like knowing your characters well, but yes they need to be your friend and enemy as per the story outline. But as we say, you should know your limits. Too much into your character may lead to Schizophrenia. You certainly don’t want that to happen, but yes knowing your character and having a good memory will give you the pleasure sooner or later that: “Yes I have written my own story!”

So writing isn’t a tough job? Ahh trust me its fun to work with this toughness. Another thing that I have experienced myself is, ‘never mix your personal and your story life together.’ Never write your story as the character’s story unless you think that your life is as perfect and imperfect as it should be in the novels. I know people do write their own stories, but trust me in the end you’d feel more vulnerable (if it’s a sad one). My first ever short story was nothing but something that I, experienced, an experience that I will always remember. It was a ‘hit’ in my college, among friends, family. But because it was a short story and I just wrote on that one experience, even today at times I feel: “Has the story come to an end? Isn’t there anything more that could happen?” when you write your own story, more than the technical aspect what you consider is emotional aspects. It can be good and bad.

Maybe I’ll just try my hand on short stories again and jot down some personal experience with the help of my character Maya!

Till then just one thing in mind – be creative, have a good memory and love your characters before you write a story!

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It is undoubtedly irritating for us to ignore the person who wants to talk to us, but for once, do we think that why the person does wants to talk to you? Do we think about the feeling of the person who approaches us before ignoring them?

At times our ignorance is so prominent, that the person whom we are ignoring might get offended. But we are least bothered about it? It’s wrong from our part. But I would just like to tell all the people who are getting ignored,

don’t waste your life on fools like us, because we don’t care about your feelings, move on in life. Trust me everyone is ignored someday or the other, by someone. Let us realize your feelings when we go through it. Don’t waste your life on us!!! if we ignore you, please go ahead and ignore us…

I just thought of writing this small blog-post for all those who are being ignored by fools like us!!!

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• Don’t talk to me about Reddit (musingsofthemustachioedstrangers.wordpress.com)

It can happen to anyone around us or in our house. Sexual pleasures are difficult to handle by many and when this is the case, it leads to Child Sexual Abuse. People have this myth that saying aloud that you have been raped or someone attempted to rape you is a BLUNDER. It’s not. But not saying it and living with it for the entire life looking at the culprit every day, roaming about freely is a shame!!!

In our society a girl talking about sex, rape physical abuse, child molestation domestic violence leads to eyebrows going up. People think that the girl speaking about SEX is a girl with cheap values or a low character female. But all we need right now is Speaking Up at the right time, right place. Sex is considered as a taboo while talking in a social gathering but this is what you need when you are tired from work. I call these Double Standards.

Child Sexual Abuse can be on a girl or on a boy. We are now-a-days aware about girls and their security but even boys go through the same situation if they are sexually abused. Not all the children today are a victim of it but there are many as well. Just being sure that your husband or father is a good man doesn’t mean that they can’t sexually exploit your children. The same goes the other way round for motherly figures.

We have a thing in us which tells us that a known person cannot sexually abuse a child, but friends most of the sexually abused culprits are known people. It is difficult to trust anyone these days but as a guide to our children or to our siblings, we should sit and talk to them and give them the sex education which is required. Talking to a child isn’t easy, as you have to give them details on what are you talking, then why not sit and watch TV with them related to crimes or why not browse the net for some CHILD ABUSE videos on YouTube and then show it to your children.

I had seen an episode of Crime Patrol, where it was about a P.T. Teacher sexually abusing a small guy. That is when I realized that Child Sexual Abuse can be a threat for boys too. i wanted to speak to my brother about this, who is no doubt 17 year old – a big boy, but for me he is a child. And you never know maybe even he is been abused by someone in his college but is scared to tell anyone. I asked my mom to speak to him, but she ignored to what I said. Not her fault, she thinks I man too bold to speak about all this and a MAN should speak to boy about this. Without her consent but I spoke to my brother about this and explained him everything. Also told him that he finds it difficult to talk to me about it he can tell this to his college male teacher or if no option left, he can go to the police.

Talking to your children, spreading awareness with some fun games or videos or photos will be helpful. These steps are certainly taken by many schools today, but we can’t depend on the school completely, can we? We, the youth can go ahead and start talking to our siblings, then their friends, spread the word, keep some seminar for the children in the same society, complex… this way we can let the children know WHAT IS WRONG!!! They should know that calling 100 or 103 is helpful. They should know that talking about Sexual Abuse isn’t a crime. They should know that sexual abuse is a wrong act. They should be aware that touching of any known or unknown person is a CRIME!!!

Spread the word. Talk to the children. They need us!!!

Have a look on both the videos below:

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=449594210595

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfmo8kjezs8

Related articles

• Child Sex Abuse Victims Blamed More By Parents If Perpetrator Is Another Youth (medicalnewstoday.com)
• Sunday Morning Radio Show Gives Tips to Help Prevent Child Sexual Abuse (prweb.com)
• BoysDontTell.com Announces: Boys Don’t Tell Author Speaks Out on Child Sexual Abuse (prweb.com)
• Ottawa hospital counsellor sexually abused young patient, records reveal (vancouversun.com)
• Ottawa hospital counsellor sexually abused young patient, records reveal (canada.com)
• Parents blame child sex abuse victims more if perpetrator is another youth, UNH research shows (eurekalert.org)
• Child Sexual Abuse Conference Offers Hope for Victims and Effective Tools to Prevent Abuse (prweb.com)
• 93% of Our Children Know Their Molesters (socyberty.com)